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Tom DeLay's Hypocritic Oath

Crying Wolf

Fascists and Communists, Part II

Who's the biggest GOP Fascist?

The West Wing: GOP Edition

How to Lie with Statistics

How the War Will Be Marketed

Howard Dean is a New Yorker

The 17th Amendment

Libertarians, etc.


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The West Wing: GOP (part II)


In order to help even up the prime-time political shows, I present the next installment of The West Wing: GOP. Part I can be found here.

----------------

THE WEST WING: GOP

INT. WHITE HOUSE BRIEFING ROOM

Press Secretary FLARI EISCHER standing at podium. Seats facing him are filled with REPORTERS.

EICHER


I have some remarks and then I'll take questions. Yesterday, when I was left the briefing crying while you laughed me off the stage, that was because I had just come from chopping onions, not because I was upset about your reaction to my remarks about paying off foreign leaders. Also, we captured a major Al Qaeda leader, a Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, with the help of the Turkish government, so we they will be collecting the twenty-five billion dollar reward we posted for his capture. Yes, Thelen, your question.

REPORTER 1


I understood that the Pakistanis were the ones who caught Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, so why is Turkey getting the reward, and I have a follow-up.

EICHER


Frankly, Turkey did more to bring in this fugitive. Also, Turkey is the only democracy in the region and a strong ally and friend of the United States.

REPORTER 1


Isn't Pakistan a strong ally and friend of the United States?

EICHER


Of course, and your follow-up?

REPORTER 1


The stated reward for the capture of Khalid Shaikh Mohammed is twenty-five million. When did that become twenty-five billion?

EICHER


Yesterday, we decided it was more useful to offer larger rewards rather than fund homeland security. We realized, and rightly so, that the rewards were quite frankly going to be more effective at capturing terrorists than our own efforts.

CUT TO:



INT. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE, OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY GENERAL

Attorney General ASH CROFTJOHN is seated at his desk watching the press conference on C-SPAN. He picks up his phone.

CROFTJOHN


(into phone) Thelen Omas is asking questions again. What does the TIA have on her? (pause) Uh huh (pause) Ok, that's pretty good. See if you can leak that to her old boss at the Times. (pause) No, not the real paper, the Moonie Times.

(CONTINUED)



----------------


Tune in next week for some situation room drama.
3/02/2003 12:59:00 AM [Link] |